Whether you call it family ministry, parenting ministry, faith at home, or being “orange” this much is true: we are in the midst of a powerful movement. Churches everywhere are desperately searching for how to best help families raise Christ-centered kids in our increasingly Christ-critical culture.
The stakes are high. Research indicates we are losing the battle for the hearts and souls of thousands of our church-raised kids. As they enter college and career, they are leaving their faith commitment behind. What is the church to do?
Pause for a moment and consider the question: Who is responsible for the spiritual development of a child?
Did you say: “the church?” Or “the pastor?” Did you answer “the family” or “the parents?”
How you answer that one question alone will have major implications for how you see ministry to families and the children within them.
Or how about this question: Would you say your church’s ministry to families and kids is...
a) program-driven
b) family-based
c) family-equipping
d) family-integrated?
In response to my questions, you may ask some of your own, like: “What do these labels even mean? Don’t all churches do this pretty much the same way? Don’t the children’s ministries deal with the children, the youth ministries help the youth and the adult ministries grow the adults? You mean there is more than one way to minister to families and kids?”
To answer the last question, Yes, there are many ways. And some more helpful than others.
A Need for Collaboration
So what are churches doing that really reaches our kids and prepares them for the real world in such a way that they remain grounded in Christ even after being rocked by the secularism of college or pressures of career? What works? What can we learn from one another?
That is the purpose of this project. What you hold in your hand is the collaboration of more than thirty authors—ministers, authors, bloggers and leaders from many different locations—all who face the same challenge: to impress the things of God upon the hearts and minds of the next generation.
How this book came about
God has given me a passion for connecting with people.
I grew up in an unchurched family, but around 11 years old felt called to learn more about God. So I started walking to a nearby church alone. But I never went back after a dear elderly woman explained to me the gospel and challenged me to give my life to Christ.
I went my own way and trouble found me. I got into a mess with the state police, was put on house arrest, then probation. I was 16 with two felony offenses. It drove me to the Marines. While I was waiting to ship out to basic training, I fell in love with my best friend, Rose. We later married and were blessed with a son (eventually, we were further blessed with two daughters). In December of that same year, my unit was given orders to deploy to Iraq at a minutes’ notice as war loomed on the horizon.
During this time of intense preparation, I wrote a letter to my two-month-old son telling him how I loved him and that I was sorry I might never get to know him. That letter changed me. Slowly, my walls began to crumble, and my heart started to soften. That was where God found me. Prideful, desperate and, I’ll admit it, a little scared.
During this time of turmoil, I happened to hear a radio evangelist challenge his audience to stop living “on the fence” and start living for God. It was the same message I had walked away from as a child. It was a call to become a true follower of Christ, to deny myself, pick up my cross and follow Jesus.
Rose and I began attending a chapel at Camp Pendelton. The chaplain there preached straight from God’s Word. We were on fire. A few months later, I was baptized and started serving in the church.
A Minister to Children
I left the Corps the following year to try and be the best dad I could be.
When Rose and I moved back to my hometown of Corydon, Indiana, we found a church and I volunteered in the youth group, and we both served in the children’s ministry.
In the spring of 2000, a part-time position opened in the children’s ministry. I prayed about applying for it. I was not qualified to run a children’s ministry, but I had a very willing heart and a teachable spirit. To my honest surprise, the Elders approved my application. Three years later, they hired me on full time. I had gone from heathen to Marine to children’s minister in about 10 years. I was no longer a minister of death and destruction, but a minister of the Gospel of peace, serving the children of our wonderful little church. I was a new creation, indeed!
If You Want to Reach the Children...
It did not take long for me to figure out that I would fail in my role as a children’s minister if I could not persuade parents to engage in the battle on the home front. I had no idea what to do or how to do it.
Then, I heard an important message from a speaker named Reggie Joiner. With 3,000 orange balls, he powerfully illustrated that parents typically have over 3,000 hours per year of unscheduled time with their children. I had been focusing only on the 40 hours a year the kids were at church. I was missing the mark, and a great opportunity.
Between Reggie’s vision and Barna’s research, I found my new calling: I had to get the message into the home.
But how?
I now serve at a mega-church with 26,000 members. We have tried many ways to grow the kids but we ran into the same frustration repeatedly: how do we get parents to become the primary spiritual voices in their children’s lives, and use the 3,000 hours they have with their kids rather than relying on the 40 hours we have them at church? How can we get them to ask, “What did you learn?” rather than, “Did you have fun?” How do we get them to become initiators rather than responders?
My focus is now on developing small groups that help parents be parents, within a community of other parents, and so raise healthy, Christ-devoted kids. My goal is simple: to connect parents and families to Jesus and one another.
One thing is certain: as we try to reach kids, we need to work together. The free social network I created confirm to me the benefits of networking around a movement.
For people who minister to parents, families, and children
So, join us! You can participate in this project by connecting to one of our free online communities. Your unique perspective, challenges and gifts can serve many more families when you share them. We were created for community. We have been called to a great work. We are the body of Christ, the church.
I hope you will be as challenged and inspired by this work as I have been.
What we need is collaboration.
